Time Machine

Beginning of another chapter

2012-01-05T01:08:00.004+08:00

As everyone cheers to the new year, i had that one minute of flashback to what happened in 2011 and the things that makes the year complete. Probably a good year since 2008. Good i mean the things i fulfilled and what i've experience this past 365 days. Pretty satisfied i must say. Along with the many friends i made along the way, they were pretty much the core of my everyday life. Friendships lost and made again and bonded along the way really ignite the joy i had all my life but strayed off for a period of time. Anyway, i really hope 2012 wont be too hard on me.

School's starting real soon (9th jan), i guess is time to bring out the serious and discipline side of me and probably a cup full of party girl. Yupp, that should be perfect. Well as easy as it sounds, Im just gonna make do with whatever i have and try to make another good year. Being less hot tempered and less stress out would be my resolution for this year. Not forgetting saving up for raining days. I wanna save up for a holiday, maybe in december with my friends. Get away from reality is always the best way to reunite your emotions and let loose. Yupp, that should be it.

Shopping list

2011-12-21T12:20:00.001+08:00

Sweater & Maxi Skirt

Sunglasses

Clutch from Zara

HAPPY HOLIDAYS

2011-12-18T11:45:00.005+08:00

"It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, all around the world..."

Yay! its only one more week to Christmas! i really hope this year's Christmas will be a blast. Hopefully everything will go through smoothly! So many plans for Christmas, everyone rushing to fulfill their Christmas list and hoping to make their Christmas perfect. To me Christmas is important, not just receiving gifts and partying with your loved ones but also a time to love and forgive the ones that wronged me. Because new year is also just around the corner, Christmas is a season for giving (forgiving) and so i'll be able to start a new year a fresh with no bad vibe or strong grudges. Who wanna start the year with so much hate and anger in them. So to all i use to hate. dislike, annoyed with or betrayed me, i love you! (This will only take effect NEXT SUNDAY 25 December 2011) And so we can all celebrate Christmas with love, joy and mistletoe.

Recently i RIHANNA-ED my hair and added a touch of Rogue (X-men) to it. I think its amazing! Pretty satisfied with the whole outcome leaving out the hole im having right now in my wallet. But i mean its Christmas right? Its the only time when spending is legit and necessary. ("Yeah right..." my conscience speaks) Anyway, i've completed all my shopping and my tree is up and looking so sheek! Ok, gonna have to attend to a customer now! SEEEEYAAAA and if i dont come back in time.... MERRRRRYY BEERRRRY CHRISTMAS BABY!

P.S Do check out Michael buble's Christmas songs Album this year! LOVIN IT EVERYDAY (:

Sunny sunnies

2011-12-07T20:49:00.003+08:00

Its been a real long time since i went tanning at sentosa and an even longer time i succeeded a tan at sentosa. Everytime i tan its either raining or cloudy. Anyway, went to palawan with Jane to tan. The funniest thing was we gave up after like an hour plus cuz we were dying in the heat. Guess we kinda prayed a little too much for the sun. After which we head back to her house for some KINECT! played bowling, table tennis and volleyball. I lost in every game against jane! How sad. But was really interesting how the avatars could follow exactly what i was doing
.
Yesterday went IKEA with marianne supposedly for some Swedish Meatballs. To our surprise, we order more than we could consume or rather more than what our stomach could withstand. Seems so little when we ordering. Then this group of friend came and sat beside us and guess what there were 4 persons and they order way lesser than us. HAHA we burst out laughing cuz they mention they were eating as thought they havent ate for a long long time. So we packed the remaining food and went shopping at IKEA. Meanwhile, we were shopping to cover the $5 voucher we had. I bought boxes and frames for my room, marianne didnt really get anything. Overall, the day was pretty awesome.

Oblivion

2011-11-17T03:20:00.002+08:00

I understand that we as human beings sometimes find it difficult to control our feelings and emotions, and especially since we are teenagers, naturally lack substantial experience and maturity, we are weak in decision making and at separating the wrong and right apart. Most of the time we are oblivious of the line that sets boundaries. People tend to take things too far they forget that when crossing the line, we do actually hurt feelings of other. Alongside, some just are too ignorant of what they have done wrong and assume just being apologetic will heal all wounds and disappointment. We cant help sometimes but to bare strong grudges and hold in too much anger and hatred till we cloud out the love we get from the ones that are genuine and sincere. I really hope the people i meet from this day on will be more genuine and true.

I guess that all i wanna spill out right now..

My sister's leaving for Korea tomorrow 1:30am for 5 days, i really hope she'll be safe and have a memorable time over there. Really gonna miss her since i depend on her alot. Wish you well (:

For what is worth

2011-11-16T04:05:00.005+08:00

When will I ever comprehend the difference between the person I am and the person I want to be, the line that separates real and desire. Feeling of Dissatisfaction repels my humanity, bringing out the greed in me. I desire the impossible and cloud reality in order to numb my pain through this hardship. I feel like whenever I look into the mirror I present a different side of me, a person I want the world to see of me. How can I let such morbid influence take the better of me? How can I let myself become such a superficial brat. Letting go of what's beneficial and holding so tightly to things that are worthy of nothing. Yet ignoring the fact that these will depreciate as time goes. But what we do not know is that genuine relationships will never vary with social changes because it's judged based on the substance and quality instead of its exterior capabilities.

You'll always be second best because you'll always have someone you're influenced by. Why can't you just be yourself, be the influence for a change. Fame isnt everything.

Back to basics

2011-11-06T11:49:00.007+08:00

Good morning! im at work now and was kinda tired clicking on random facebook pages and subconciously refreshing my twitter page every 30 seconds. This week was pretty dull for a start of November, guess i pretty much ask for it. Reckon Im the only person here who prefers to hang alone or rather with my sisters. With friends i feel the need to entertain which leave no time for myself. With my sisters, Im comfortable and free of an imaginary mask. Im glad the phrase "blood is thicker than water" applies to me so i know that when push comes to shove, i'll always have them to back me up.

Well anyway, i forgot to add i met this guy from the club like 2 months back. His name is Victor. Met him at butter while getting drunk and high with Justine and Sarah. Justine unfortunately got this old but rich ass guy that kept annoying the shit out of her.(HAHA!) Anyway, victor was flirty and open, somewhat engaging. Well, yeah so ever since that night we have been texting and hanging out. First time I was able to watch every movie I wanted to watch and not having to always miss them cuz I have no one to watch with, then resort to downloading and watching them online all by myself. I had alot of fun then. However, after a while it gets too intense like I feel commitment leaking in like it became a "I have to meet him" instead of "I want to meet him" kinda relationship. I felt like this guy was asking more from me. Something I'm not willing to give since I wasn't ready for a relationship after a rough breakup. I remember telling him I didn't want any form of commitment what so ever. So right now, I reciprocated by giving the cold shoulder and the hostile response. I feel so mean and like the typical girl that plays with a boy's heart. I tried finding many excuses for myself, like maybe he was feeling the same way or like I made it clear from the very beginning. However, it still struck back to my very self centeredness. Thus, leading to such a terrible end to a once needed company. The thing that makes me feel most guilty is that he's still trying to get close to me and making me happy with every chance he has, but at the same time he's really full of himself and I know for sure that those sweet words were just lies and if he was such a smooth talker he could talk me into anything. And that's not what I want my boyfriend to be? Im done letting my feelings get cheated.
So yeah thats the story with Victor till now.

Nowadays i have this urge to go bowling but seems like nobody has that same interest. Sometimes i even thought of bowling alone but WTF that will be too big a step to take. I can shop or eat alone but bowling alone? Loser. I cant even tell ppl "oh i have to train for a tournament. HAHA that will be a big joke after they see my imaginary bowling ability. Anyhowz, i've covered quite abit of my life already.. Will hopefully i'll be back more often. (:

Oktober HUAT

2011-11-01T12:36:00.005+08:00

The month of october was amazing, well pretty much the best month this year. Everything was just smooth-sailing throughout. Satisfied. Had my halloween party which turned out awesome, more awesome than i expected. Met friends we have not met since graduation.. Great catch up (: Well, this year, i turned up as charlotte the spider from Charlotte's Web.. Was pretty contented with my costume and makek up and my overall planning of the party. Though, i kinda did almost everything alone, i think its a good start for my future events planning encounters. Anyway, still working at Ten Thousand angels as Counter girl, pay raised to 6/hr yet still not enough for my monthly expenses. Seriously, its so hard for me to save and spend and be a teenager at the same time. Money is such a huge obstacle in my life. How can I let such tangible object disturb my way Of life.

Anyway, hopefully November will be a dear too and treat me well. I hope my past suffering during the last three months was the bottom rock and that the year will just be a snap. The day before ytd I was just walking home from nut's place. Memories came by so strongly on me as I walk along the same route we use to date when we were younger. So many things we use to do tgt and I'll have to do it alone now really makes it so hard to forget. Just can't seem to let go all of it. Which is the result pf me blogging about it. This blog's just full of you, only when I have something to relate to you then I'll start blogging. Just thinking back, you were my lifestyle, my obligation and my priority. Ohwells. They're all just words now. Somehow I feel hard to let someone else in to my heart, no ready to give back or commit to any kind of obligation. It's probably me that's holding back. I would say its a good thing but I'm afraid I'd hurt people I make use of. Am I taking advantage of him? How to tell him I'm not ready? Is this what I really want? I'm just afraid it will just overwhelm me and I'll just break one day.

I weren't like that. I never agree of anyone playing with feelings. I always knew what to do or what I was doing. Right now, I just wanna go with the flow, unsure what the next step would be. I don't wanna think anymore. I'm just gonna let this go by, if it works out (Y) if not just move on. Life would be so much easier if we don't think things so seriously.

Tough lover

2011-10-03T12:54:00.004+08:00

Hanging by a thread

2011-09-15T12:29:00.005+08:00

Been reading my past post, some are really a worthy LOL moment. After reading them, i realise how much i've grown and the foolish things i write about. Really embarrassing. Recently i've been thinking,why do i listen to my mom so much, what does she have to hold me back? So much has happened to the family, made me wanna run away from home, leave the place of misery. If there was a way of defeat or escape, i would have gone that path but sadly we're just stuck in a hole with a bunch of deceitful and irresponsible parents. I loathe them so much! Noone will ever understand cos this will never happen to any family. Father planning on schemes to tell on his children yet no trust between my mom and us. She's practically bewitched by him. they say every dog will have it's day, when will this dog get his? Its been too long! Why does he always get away with his despicable acts. We're gasping for just. Every sunday i make the effort to go for mass yet i have given up hope for a happier and stronger family. Theres no way now that can ever happen. Will someone please shed some light in my situation. Nobody can hear me out. When will i see the light, when can i get out of this dark hole! This is always happening to me, noone ever taught us to escape. Can i run away? where do i go? ... :'(

Cry for love

2011-08-31T21:27:00.003+08:00

Ever consider how much one has to do to consummate the love that one desire at that current moment. Or why is it that we can never be satisfied with what has been given to us? Why do we, humans , have this greed factor that reminds us everyday of our lives that we're not getting the things we deserve. What is it that we deserve to begin with? People tell me all the time that i deserve so much better but what have i done to reach that displacement. Also, what is better? how can someone tell you you deserve better when they're not you? How is it that they know what you think is better and you dont when all that happening's on you.

We take advice from others to get a third party's point of view but in a situation where it takes only two hands to clap, do you really need that third person to tell you what you should do in order to be happy? Just because one has experience in a relationships does not make one have the right to tell the other that shes doing it wrong! Everyone is different, we react differently in different situations. When given a picture, different people will tell different stories because to them that picture tell that story, yet who can adjudicate that his story is wrong nor right. Alongside, our lives are are like our stories. We tell , we decide what we want for the next step, it should be our inner third party telling us whats right and giving advice not an outsider. Who else can be more right about you than you? Only you know whats best for youself cos you have your own personal bucket of desires.

I, personally, wanna feel important again.

"If you cant handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell dont deserve me at my best" - Marilyn Monroe

Hi

2011-08-24T21:48:00.001+08:00

Look Who got her hair Flamed!!

Hope for now

2011-08-15T13:51:00.005+08:00

Everywhere i go i meet people i know and they will ask the same question to me. "so what are you going to do now?" This question has been a pain to me for the first half of this year and pretty much am tired of having to hide away from it anymore. This may be something you wanna tell them "why do you care?" "its none of you business!" or "Back off! its my life and my decision to when and what i wanna do with my life" But this is all reality and this question will never go away. From time to time, you will have to ask yourself "so what now? whats the plan?" If we are able to answer this question every time we encouter it, then your life will go on smoothly. In life, i learnt that there is no point planning your future thats like 10 to 20 years from now cos they will all eventually change, not everyone in this world actually become who they dreamt to be when they were 11 years old.

When we were younger, we used to dream about being lawyers, doctors, chefs or musicians (the dream jobs) Then as we grow older, we get to xperience more in life and realise theres more fun in life than just being doctors and lawyers. atsy fatsy people becomes designers, artist or even directors and charitable people will probably grow to become kindergarten teachers, care givers or nurses. however in between, we will all have a crunch period like having finanacial problems, drug problems, social issues or health predicaments. Then our dreams just dont matter anymore and people just start looking out for jobs that could pay the rent or jobs with fast and easy cash. Many of us reckon if we were to plan out our lives now, things will turn out fine and perfect. Well only if ceterus peribus exist.

There is so much more to life than just passing highschool, getting into a good university, meeting the right one and having a happy family. Its better to explore with no expectation. Just let loose, maybe once in a while let the question come to mind, think about whats the next step that makes you happy now. Fuck the longterm theory,do what makes you happy for now. With no expectations, there will be no disappointment. Take that.

Note: Gonna get my hair reRED!!!

2011-08-02T12:12:00.003+08:00

Stagnant in a state of emptiness, letting no soul get entry to the heart of bitterness. Right now, nothing I do seem to be able to change for the better. Is it the time to take that step of courage and actually challenge beyond my comfort zone? But I'm not ready for anything. I'm afraid to be part of reality. Reality has been hitting me from time to time like a on-going slap fest. Still, i live by in denial letting each day pass till I meet the actual judgement day. Everyone knows that day will definitely come eventually. I really don't know what I'm doing with my life and yet I grumble non stop thinking something miraculous will fall right in front of me one day. Wake up girl! Nothing works this way!! It's really about time you get on your two feet and make a change to your skeptical yet metaphorical born-to-be event planner dreams.

Its been almost a month since I broke up with him. I would say it was the right thing to do and as for now I don't think I regretted that decision. Though the "lack of confidence" speech, I felt pretty sure what Im worth and what I want from every segment of my life. Well roughly. Relationships to me right now, have became secondary. I don't really wanna think about it, though it's pretty much still around. I miss him, but things can't go back to how they were. It will be wrong, I know it. But it's true what you said, I too can never love someone else as much as I have loved you. This thought gets to me from time to time which is also the reason why I can't let go. I appear to be moving on but am I really moving on? Or just pretending to be strong.

What am I doing? Letting you in all the time, thinking it'll work again if I give it one last chance. How many times do I have to say one last chance, when will be the actual last? You said we could start over, but are you sure that's possible? Can I ever forget How you hurt me from time to time? I'm not sure. That's why I don't really wanna think about it, cause I know I can never get the answer, nor assurance that even if the answer was right in front of me, it would be the right one.

"Our greatest fear is not that we're inadequate, its that we're powerful beyond measure." there is nothing we can't do! Take your chance and work beyond your abilities!

Residue of life

2011-07-22T00:36:00.002+08:00

Im so afraid, so little, so unimportant. Tied down to the ground, struggling yet feeling hopeless.

It ends here

2011-07-15T03:19:00.001+08:00

HARRY POTTER WAS AMAZING! but somehow i feel sad that its the last, feels like theres nothing left to look forward to in life anymore. DRAMA but true... Oh wells, just wanted to say that. Gonna head to bed now! Goodnight!

Better times

2011-07-14T00:56:00.003+08:00

Alexander Graham bell said when one door closes another door opens. This means there are always other opportunities or options out there waiting for you to discover. However, many tend to dread over the closed door and direct all their thoughts on their regrets yet not move on with life. Moving on is really something that's so difficult to overcome, by doing so really is a huge step forward. I, on the other hand, still am tryin to figure out my path out of the vast, seemingly never ending ocean. Signs of you are like the leachers in the sea, clinging onto me leaving scars and pain only. I wanna get through this real fast, wanna find the solution to my misery. Questions unanswered, do I even wanna know the answers them? Will I get hurt deeper if I were to find out? Was it a mistake? Was it impulsive?

These past six days without conversing or interaction with you helps me to think alot for myself and reflect on many things. I then realize those questions are redundant to me now. I finally know what I want, how much I'm worth, yada yada... Helps me to realize that I can open as many doors as I want but if I can't get my senses right, these opened doors will only be doors with no path. Like opportunities, they can be right in front of me but if I don't see them, they will just be as useless as body with no soul.

You will always be a part of me and who I've become through the years. Thanks for the better side of me(:

Twisted hopes

2011-07-11T01:49:00.004+08:00

I will love you forever, forever just seem so short now. How did it turn out to be this way? I'm losing my grip, I can't pretend to be all strong and rigid as if none if it happened. I hate ou, I hate what you've done to me and my world, I hate how you misused me, took advantage of my love for you. But above all of it, I still wanna forgive you, I wanna see the better side of you, I wanna leave those aside and let it go. Why can't you change for me? What went wrong? What have I done wrong? I'm so hurt, I hate this feeling right now. Feeling of emptiness with a heavy heart makes me so tired of living. Tell me you still love me, tell me none of this matter cuz I meant the world to you, tell me I can trust you cuz without me life is meaningless. Why couldn't you just pay more attention to my feelings then? Everything seem so impossible to figure out right now. Fuck you're weak charlotte! I need to get through this! Someone hear me out ):

Ps. I miss your touch

Hope for now

2011-07-01T03:25:00.004+08:00

Surprise surprise! back with a more jubilant mood. Pleasant at least. Well well, just caught Transformers with the family at plaza singapura not like the place matters. But yeah, was awesome much! graphics were amazing and so was everything else. Really enjoyed it other than the fact that Megan Fox got replaced by Rosie Huntington. Bad choice, Megan would have done a better job, definitely! well anywayz, been trying to look like the brighter of things, making sure the day passes by well for me. Been missing keith quite a bit every day though and it tend to grow more intense each day. Hope things will change for the better soon! Anyway, gonna hit the sack now. Hope it rains tmr morning so i can get my good 8 hrs sleeep! Night lovers! (;

Let it be

2011-06-29T15:39:00.001+08:00

Been trying to keep myself busy to avoid the fact that i am a lonely girl by nature. Never ever thought that someone can actually born to be lonely. I think i have become mildly introverted in a sense that i keep things to myself and sometimes i feel happier being alone. Well, it isn't all that bad being alone. At least when all my friends are busy, i'll be trained to not feel unhappyy that im actually more a loser that just simply lonely. Hee, not really sure what im talking about. But yeah, get my drift?

Been working at Ten Thousand Angel right beside spotlight @ Plaza Singapura, have been a pleasure so far. Though a little mundane at times but still bearable.My colleagues have been really helpful and friendly for me to tahan the boredom, would actually be more worst of if i were to just sit by the counter waiting for customers to pay off.

I miss the old you...

Kill bijou

2011-06-23T21:48:00.003+08:00

I really dont know if im doing the right thing, i feel like i'm in a situation no one can ever understand. I feel lonely, even lonelier than before. I feel lousy, more incompetent than before. But yet i feel the need to put on a mask so others wont see my unpleasantness. I'm in great dilemma with the progress of my relationship. Its seems fine from the outside but the feeling that lingers between us just is fucked up. Im always so skeptical that you care or you simply just arent a good boyfriend at all. You're are a really nice person genuinely and cheers to you but sometimes its not just about yourself. All you think about being around with your friends and i've been trying to comprehend your mindset of relationship and love. its just really tiring to always have to pretend im alright with it. I wonder if i would be better off alone... so lost, so afraid.

Bad day

2011-06-18T02:28:00.002+08:00

I just wanna give up...

Ps: Green Lantern was a torturing... First 3D movie...Last 3D movie

Vulnerability

2011-06-17T03:07:00.003+08:00

Why is it that only when i feel most resentful then i start blogging or have something relevent to write about in my space. Sometimes bad things are best left in the past but yet i chose to lay it all out on the table and let everyone examine it. However for the good, it'll just be left lying around till the next best thing comes along. Why is it that we keep the unpleasant memories so tightly to ourselves and allow it to pull us down everytime we get weak? Well probably its just the insecurities that everyone of us possess that even the strongest man in this world has a weakpoint that when being tapped on, will fall harder than we know.

I think i should just get lost, forget whatever i just said... goodnight

Untitled

2011-06-14T01:12:00.006+08:00

Been having troubles trying to put my feelings into words and still working on it. I have so much bothering me but yet i cant tell anyone cause i don't even know how to explain it to myself. Had my usual emotional explosion with Stella this afternoon and it turned out to be a conversation that made sense only to a deaf man. I'm in sucha mess till i cant even explain, I'm in desperate need of direction or Justine's superstitious signs (which was proven unreliable), just a tip would really help to lean my arrow to a/the direction, right or wrong, it doesn't matter anymore. Even if it was wrong ,i can learn from it and life can still go on from there but if I'm forever stuck here, its a waste of time. Like everybody said, life is too fucking short. So get on your feet and make anything happen.

One thing i learnt about youth. Now is not the time to work things out, its about making mistakes like falling in love, making new friends or checking out different places. I wanna head toward that inclination, trying out new things. Progress. I think i should take up a hobby. Maybe play some tennis, baking lessons or aerobics. Hopefully my retail job, starting this monday, could help to keep me occupied and realise something wise and directive.

Soft touch

2011-06-13T13:16:00.006+08:00

I feel, desire and plead.

Living for love

2011-05-24T21:35:00.002+08:00

I dont understand why i feel this way, like sometimes i see that you care and the next minute i get so paranoid that such things dont exist. Its so vicious as it happens over and over again. But deep inside me i know i love you i just need to solidify that thought and be brave to let my heart dominate my thoughts and my actions. You made me learn and showed me things i've never seen before. You teach me ways of life that never came across my mind. You made me see a different side of life and how i should stop being influenced by the ones around me, not in the rebellious way. If only you would understand that sometimes the anger that gets to me are just non-lasting paranoia and insecurity.

I wish to become one of those lovers that will do anything together and at anywhere and anytime we will never feel bored or lonely because no matter what we have each other. I wanna be your friend, your family and the person you wanna vent your anger at and the person you wanna run to when something bothers you. I wanna be with you spiritually and physically. If only i could be strong enough to be that person. Its something i work towards everyday of my life.

For you i will. For love i will save that last breath and with you i will be perfect.

Unexpected changes

2011-05-24T00:15:00.004+08:00

Im feeling so half hearted about so many things right now, amidst of trying to comprehend how things works and behaving like a whole different person or receiving different feelings from people. People change so unexpectedly like one minute you thought you know it the next minute you found out you got it all wrong, then we'll have to restart from the beginning again. Plus it gets so tiring when changes seemed to take place most of the time. I get so impatient and upset about stuff and im not so sure myself if im just either thinking too much or thing are really happening how i picture them to be. Its hard to decipher real and expectations. Sometimes the things we ask for are just too way out of this world and that sometimes reality just seems so complicated and difficult to accept. With both conflicting issues, forms a problem. Misunderstanding.

I feel like you're not the person i use to know nor the person close to how i wanted you to become. In fact, as time passes, it gets farther and farther away from my wishes. Its so hard when either side refuse to accept or change respectively. Many times i feel like giving up but i know that will only cause drama and nothing else. Im weak, i know it. But i need to get things right now before things vitalise even more.

I, definitely want alot of things, i know i demand. But life is so short, i wanna be happy, i wanna feel important, i hate having to make time for things that arent worth at all. I hate being made use of, i wanna be the person i dream to become. Satisfied. Why do i feel like none of it has been achieved so far. Other than being happy, which is limiting.

A little more attention is all i ask for.

Heart vs mind

2011-05-23T02:06:00.001+08:00

Every day I'm waiting for surprises to make my days less pathetic and eventless. Its been quite a while since my last post, probably blaming it on the melodramatic yet tough days which results to empty reflections and dreadful opinions. Maybe its this awkward period of my life where I'm still far from settled since I haven't really got over the fact that I'm such a failure in every aspect of my life so far and the I had the worst birthday of my life. Almost nothing has gone well since my last downfall which is poor academic results. I would definitely wish to turn back time and redo that 2 years again but life has its ups and downs , you just have to wave goodbye to your past and keep moving forward. I'm feeling a little messed up with my emotions and letting my heart dominate my decisions. I hope its not the weaker part of me that took the wheel but instead through memories and futuristic analysIs. I'm just hoping you would become less careful about yourself and more sensitive to the ways of love and relationships.

Well, right now its just hoping for the best in life but pushing to get back on track that leads to my goal or probably my ideal lifestyle. I kinda need to appreciate my time right now cos its probably the only time left for me to enjoy. I need to replan this period (june to dec) and make sure i have covered everything i wanna do in life that does not relate to my "career" oor any other serious matters. Hoping for the best! Cheers!

Bottle up like smoke, floating over flame

2011-03-28T15:57:00.008+08:00

There are many things in life we disagreed and left aside. Isn't it only right that we cast the imperfections aside and live day to day with contentment and abundance, i mean life is so damn fucking scanty, why dread everyday of your life with the things pulling you away from exuberance.

My past few days have been uphill for me. Acceptance of my inadequacy and incoherence, family dysfunctions, inability to separate good and bad friends, altogether forms the bottom rock period of my life. They say when it rains, it pours. Right now, its pouring ferociously on me, Everything bombarding, crashing over like a motherfucking stampede. I cry, beat myself (not literally) for the things that gone wrong.

Having been put through the mill, i managed to reignite with my senses (mostly my common senses) and break the back of the beast. Making the best out of it and keep moving forward, like bringing sunshine back to the picture. (heeee) I just have to re-organise my life, set my priorities right and cheers!

Love eventually dies

2010-12-14T22:47:00.002+08:00

I questioned myself all the time whether or not im ready for love, ready to take on any challenge that comes to me, and whether when push comes to shove, i'll actually pull my guts together and do whats right. Looking at my parents, what they have become, it makes me fear and expect the worst out of people. Will i become like them eventually? Is this really how love works? Are movies like "notebook" and "love actually" with happy endings all just fucking our minds? Making us believe that there is such thing as true love in this world? Hate keeps me away from trust, away from the truth. Im done with this, im just gonna do whats best for me. From now on, its all about me, i have to do whats right for me and fuck what others has to say. I hate compromising, it fuck up your whole life and makes you a fool. Im done with this, unconditional love is bullshit.

LIKE A G6

2010-11-25T18:34:00.005+08:00

OMG It feels like A's are over already, though I have like 2 more paper I haven't really been studying for them. I miss keith so much, haven't seen him for the longest time, its just like being in a long distance relationship. Just that we're not constrained by space instead its the motherfucking A's. People who takes A levels are no life-ers. People like me who takes A's and doesn't produce good results are just plain stupid. I've been so damn angsty ever since A's started. Its so hard to hold my anger or remain calm when something bad gets to me. I get go angry and I'm always venting at people close to me. Soon nobody will wanna be around me anymore. Sigh, I really need stress management. Being angsty all the time isn't the lifestyle I'd wish to have. Hmm, we'll see how it is in 5 days! Cheers(:

Catharsis

2010-11-24T18:39:00.003+08:00

Im angry, upset, worried and fearful that one day you wont love me the way you use to anymore.

Indulgence

2010-11-24T00:59:00.003+08:00

The day is here, the day we have all been waiting for. WORLD DOMINATION! just 7 more days to the end of our miseries, who ever thought i could survive through this torture chamber. Im slowly stepping out of it, ready to party and have the time of my life. This year brought about a whole lot of experience, meeting new people/friends, good friends or bad friends, thats for me to know. I tend to realise there arent many people around me whom i can trust. New Friends made remain as surface friends and old friends still remain as close as ever. The world is moving so quickly, time passed like a gust of wind. Sometimes i really wish i could slow time down and comprehend my every action, making sure every move is well analysed and flawless, thus no regrets. Isnt that what lives about, living with no regrets till your very last breath. I wished i had such perfect living environment to fulfil my purpose in life.
With a family as messed up as such, i highly doubt any child can turn out to be jovial and carefree. So much pain and remorse in this place, some may call home, we tend to eliminate our hopes and dreams, and become the person we deemed undesireable. I want to be happy and everything that comes along with it.

Dont you dare slow down for me

2010-10-11T12:17:00.003+08:00

25 more days intensive shitxz! 4 more days to end of school! 2 more days to keith's 18th, 2 more hours to math mock! 1 and half hour more to end of school! 2 mins and 16 seconds more to the end of "hotel room service"! Times running and I can't fucking find the answer to- find vector OP!

We dont belong here

2010-09-16T01:28:00.002+08:00

This feels like a a heavy weight thats constantly stopping me from moving on.

My first touch with music

2010-09-13T23:49:00.004+08:00

WHEN IS BLINK 182 COMING TO S'PORE?!?!

Shoes defines me

2010-09-09T01:01:00.004+08:00

This is just they most refine and exquisite pair of shoes any girl can possess. i love it so much! i want, i want , i want!!!

)':

2010-09-02T16:07:00.003+08:00

The stress is definitely building up. I can feel it. Im just so tensed up right now, my mood swings are so frequent, my meals are so irregular, i get tired too easily and i get sick often. I feel so weak right now , im just so tired, i feel like just hiding myself from everyone right now, I think by A levels i would be so exhausted and dried up i wouldnt even have the strength to get up for my papers. Fucking A levels is a life destroyer, fuck this education system, fuck conformity, fuck uniforms and certificates. I dont want any of this. A's is just useless for me anyway, it cant get me anywhere, i highly doubt i can get into a U anyway. Im such a disappointment to my parents.

Ra Ra Riot - Can You Tell

2010-08-31T18:15:00.000+08:00

Ra Ra Riot - Can You Tell: "The Rhumb Line"

The Heart Of Life

2010-08-27T02:01:00.000+08:00

Pain throws your heart to the ground but love turns the whole thing around.
I miss keith!<3

For what is worth

2010-08-25T01:55:00.003+08:00

Things have changed, sometimes i just find it hard to tell you things, instead i choose to run away from them, hoping by doing so, everything will just resolve itself. I hate myself so much now. Everyday this ugle yet angsty side of me reveals to the world, making me the worst companion to be around with. Theres just so much hate in me, everything i touch just fucking turns to crap. Im a cloud, a fucking dark cloud that blocks out the light in everyone's life with no damn silver lining thereafter.

The Darkest Moments of my life

2010-08-22T13:22:00.006+08:00

I wished i could do something to keep you strong again. You're the only one that could keep this family together. Lord, please dont take her away from us. Day by day i worry i would receive a call saying you're gone, every trip i make to visit you, i'll put on a smile knowing that deep inside me is dying to cry it out loud. I must believe everything will be fine, anything is possible is you just believe. I pray...

Inception

2010-07-24T04:31:00.006+08:00

Never have I thought that our dreams could be engineered and manipulated to become the fantasies that we long to claim reality. We as commoners sometimes are oblivious to the fact that our dreams are simply just visions of incidence.When one gets too involved in a dream, he/she will come to a point where they themselves cant acknowledge the difference between authenticity and perception. "Inception" was really good, the very idea about dreams really took me off-guard, how i wish i could adopt that ability to manifest inception like the way joseph gordon levitt did. (He was so cute!).

Never seen you act that way before

2010-07-22T16:28:00.002+08:00

I need directions, i dont really know what im doing with my life right now. Everything's just falling apart. It feels like im about to reach rock bottom of my life. Im utterly sick of it right now. I really hope theres a turning point somewhere somehow. I dont want to end up leaving this world with nothing but regrets and dissatisfactions.

Blasphemy

2010-07-18T12:08:00.004+08:00

I'm too ashamed to call myself a catholic. For the past few months I've not had any relation with God. Where do I go from here? How do I differ what's right and wrong? Why aren't things turning out as they should? I'm lost.

Catharsis

2010-07-16T18:20:00.005+08:00

Just pull the plug so i can stop embarking on this dumb fucking journey of angst and mishaps and cease all my useless, unending battles for fuck. Honestly i think im jinxed by karma, or maybe my frequent absence from mass was the reason for my miseries. They say every dark cloud has its silver lining, we'll see about that.

Sacrifices must be made

2010-06-19T05:18:00.003+08:00

Well, i kinda had my mind prepared for a thorough week ahead which is kida like my last and only week left to prepared for my midyrs. Seriously, how can i let myself laze for 3 weeks without anything done. Didnt i already said that i wouldnt get myself distracted? Im fucking worried right now. This june hols really means alot to me, and somehow i just let it go without a tint of effort injected for A level preparation. What am i doing with my life, seriously!!!!!! I think i really have no other choice, its gonna be burn, burn and more burning every day, night and morning! Starting from tmr! BYEEE WORLD! Seeee you after Midyrs maybe?

I cant spend a day without you, baby

2010-06-15T21:08:00.004+08:00

keith is going to kelongg ): Im gonna miss him X34895349857057
I need to stop waking up at 3pm and realising that half my day is gone. No time left!

Circa Survive - Dyed In The Wool (Acoustic)

2010-06-14T20:52:00.000+08:00

Being impossible

2010-06-13T01:00:00.003+08:00

Life's a bitch till we die.

Chocolates means im sorry, flowers means i love you

2010-06-07T12:08:00.003+08:00

Guess i wont be blogging very often anymore since i have to focus all my attention to studies or is that just an excuse for my lack of discipline to blog. Hmm, there hadnt been anything intriguing to blog anyway, even now theres a absence of flow and content in this post. I just felt like my blog's dying which is true. Anyway, i gotta start studying for my exams, gonna meet nut in half an hours time. haha okay, gonna wash up now(: BYEEEEEEEEE!

Bullsh*t

2010-06-02T01:56:00.007+08:00

Trust is like a mirror. You can fix it when its broken, but you can still see the cracks in that motherfucking reflection. -Gaga

happy misery

2010-05-22T02:11:00.004+08:00

Every girl deserves to be treated like a princess. -Heidi Montage

Indulgence

2010-05-19T22:31:00.003+08:00

I've been online for the past 3 hrs and all i did was facebook, check my mail, facebook, twitter, facebook, refresh my mail, facebook, blogshop, facebook and all the way facebook. I really need to chack out for more intriguing sites, fuckyeahhappy is start to get a little too cliche nowadays though once in a while i'll still read it for entertainment sake. Im seriously bored, was suppose to go for night study but realise i was too tired to even read my newsweek so decided to just head back home to take a break. Currently counting every minute till Keith replies the my msg(that's how bored i am). Meanwhile, im playing the role of a wanted criminal, tyring my best to not get into trouble or simply get in the way of my mom.Its hard nowadays to live a day without having to get in a fight (verbally) with my mom. Sometimes i think its better to stay in sch till 10 than coming home at 6 followed by a unnecessary non-stop argument with my mom. FML!
All in all, today wasnt a bad day for me. Hopefully tomorrow will be better!
Cant wait for the weekends to come!

You're my baby

2010-05-15T00:05:00.005+08:00

Tie them in a bow and send them your way
On the fastest train I know, to get to you.
Do I really need a reason besides "I want too"
And I've got an unending debt to love you

-Jillian edwards

Apocalypse

2010-05-12T21:11:00.003+08:00

Its rare to find someone who remembers every single detail about you. Not because you're constantly reminding them but because they unceasingly pays attention. Sometimes, i get the feeling of disdain and indifference where no one ever seriously cared for me, that im consistently surrounded by deceitfulness and bad faith. Appallingly, once in a while i would have doubts about the credibility of my close ones, that sometimes they renounce my existence and constantly take advantage of the things i do for good. I admit that sometimes im over-sensitive and paranoid about things, but occasionally i need a form of confirmation that, without having to try so hard, there is really such a thing as unconditional love in this world.

For me, theres only you

2010-05-10T23:34:00.002+08:00

People talk about depression as though it is something thats weak, but coming out of it, alive, is stronger than anything they will ever do.

Its not about you, its me

2010-05-05T00:55:00.002+08:00

Sometimes i wonder if our lives are all planned out for us, like the ups and downs we go through was meant to be this way and if that is so then why did God plan unhappy endings for certain people. While reading the papers this morning, i've come across more than 5 suicidal reports and a couple of car accidents here and there and i thought why some people actually get a much peaceful and less painful death as compared to those i've mentioned and yet we wanna talk about karma. If our lives are already planned out for us, then whats the use of karma? Why cant we just live everyday like theres no tmr, with no expectations of what our days after will turn out to be. This way there would be less pressure and affliction in this world.
However, these thoughts are just wishful thinkings. Everyone in this commonality hopes for a day where they wouldnt have to worry about tomorrow. Unfortunately, in this fast moving and over-competitive society, theres really no such thing as slowing down or taking a break because if you do so, you'll be overtaken and pulled back to where you first started off. Life's just so unfair, this phrase i know may sound cliche, but its actually the fact. And apparently theres nothing we can do about it.

P.S i miss keith so much!

Love is not a maybe thing

2010-05-04T00:36:00.003+08:00

Maybe you should just grow up and stop making us worrry. You're just too self centred!

Happy First Month

2010-05-03T00:56:00.004+08:00

Whenever im feeling lonely, you'll always be the first i'd go to for company
Whenever im feeling bitter or uninspired, you're the first person i would wanna hug or talk to
Whenever i read love stories or listen to love songs, i would tend to think of it as though we were the ones in it
Everytime i get to see you or just simply hear your voice, i would be enchanted, like being on cloud nine.
Ever since we got together, everyday was momentous and every night when i go to bed, i would be charged for tomorrow to come so i could talk to you once again. You made me feel really special and im really thankful for your existence. The only reason why i feel this way for you is and will always be because i love you very much and that i am definitely lucky to have you as my boyfriend.
I love you keith, always have always will<3

Testing the strong ones

2010-04-28T23:58:00.002+08:00

I want you to be proud of who i am and what i've become over the years, despite all my flaws and mistakes i've made, i believe you would constantly be there for me and always picture me as your perfect child. I hate being compared to all your other graduate counterparts, i dont need your incessant nagging about how i should lead my life, I dont wanna be like one of those kids whom are forced to be what their parents picture as a perfect child. I know i need to do to get what i want, and all i ask for is your support and not a future thats ready planned out for me. Ohwells, hopefully the conflict between us will gradually fade away, and everyting will be how it was suppose to be. Im sick and tired. FML

Im gonna see keith tmr! (: yay i misss him much

I love the way you call me baby

2010-04-28T00:10:00.001+08:00

i just wanna sleeep and never wake up.

Those sweet words

2010-04-25T23:41:00.002+08:00

FUCKYEAHASHSTYMEST!
Im gonna start finishing all my tutorials and start mugging for whatever exams thats coming up. No more slacking, i need to work double for A's man, i dont wanna regret after collecting my results next year. I hate that fucked up feeling. I get it most of the time, but i can never get use to it. fuckkkk, please someone force me to study and stop all my useless wishful thinkings. I need that motivation.

Starbucks coffee

2010-04-24T20:19:00.000+08:00

helloo! i just had a relieving 6hrs of studying, with just 1 long break with banghur and friends at botak jones. I think im gonna make this a habit of clocking in 6hrs every sat out-of-home studying. Its really productive if you're alone. trust me, Im one that gets distracted VERY easily. So yeah, take my advise. Anyway, currently at starbucks right now, taking another break or not cos i think its took dark now for me to be studying. So friday's match was relatively a disappointment for all of us, at the same time we kinda learnt quite a bit from it. Though we wanted to win really badly for this match, but with just those 5-6 weeks of trng with Mr Teh, i think we did pretty awesome. Next up would be the match against TPJC, hopefully this could compensate for the level of resentment we had last friday.

Tired and uninspired

2010-04-22T21:52:00.004+08:00

All i could focus on right now is the match against RV. Its kinda the match that decides our fate for A div. This is something our team really hopes to achieve. We've worked really hard for this, hopefully all of it would be paid off. I believe that as long as we play our own game and not let the other team intimidate us, we'll be able to get through the next round and continue training hard to make the impossible possible. Goodluck guys! As long as you dont give up on yourself, you wont give up on the team.

CJ whoosh!

2010-04-22T01:22:00.003+08:00

I need you beside me right now,we've been apart for too long now. What can i do to make this all work out?

Be here to love me

2010-04-21T00:54:00.002+08:00

Happiness is something we decide for ourselves. There are millions of reason to be unhappy but we we can always choose to be happy because it makes us feel alive!

Rule the world

2010-04-19T23:06:00.001+08:00

Being happy doesnt mean everyone's perfect, it just mean that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.

Happily ever after

2010-04-18T01:22:00.004+08:00

I love keith he makes me happy. I miss being happy, i miss keith.

I need you like orphans need home once again

2010-04-15T02:45:00.003+08:00

I swear noone can be as unlucky as i was today. Honestly, being a ball magnet is not fun at all, the pain i went through was just unbearable, really collectively it was WTFFFUCK! screw the people who treated me as a target.( i know it was an accident) Well, other than that school was pretty tolerable. the worse timetable is to get tutorials back to back, conforming to the small, pathetic enclosure we call classroom. Seriously, i reckon we do a petition for a classroom that enable more breathing space. Having to inhale other classmates' odour( not that nut has) isnt what we know as condusive for learning. ( esp after PE). Alright, that all i have to say. Its like 3 in the morning, im dead!

Now the party dont start till i walk in..

2010-04-12T23:23:00.007+08:00

Saturday's party was just awesome. Had a blast, many many people turned up, thanks guys! yall the best luh I guess its after all still the best party in town. haha well, words is not enough to express how good the party was. Just a preview of what happened, the rest of the pictures will be up on fb. (:

Im eighteen and im still young and beautiful

2010-04-09T00:33:00.003+08:00

From caroline bird and norman ( Its a shepherd)

forever until the end

Hi everyone, my name is charlotte and im legal! I've just turned 18 like 24 hours ago, so suck it up bitches! haha Alright, actually i cant really feel anything, it just felt like another day gone thats all. haha Anyway, keith baked me 18 awesome cupcakes and brought it to my house like at 12 midnight! Im so touched, i didnt know my boyfriend could bake. I love youuu baby! Anyhow, cant wait for my party tmr, cant wait to see all my friends come tgt. hahah best!

@#$%^*$%!

2010-04-06T21:09:00.003+08:00

YES! finally got my mom to sign the ptm form, phewh! I cant wait for my party(:

Sealed with a kiss

2010-04-04T15:01:00.005+08:00

I want your love, i dont wanna be friends

2010-04-02T16:47:00.003+08:00

Guess what peopleee! i've bought my copeland tickets or should i say Zach got it for mee! hahaha im so happy, thanks zachh! haha As of now, its 33 more days to copeland! wooo i'll see you there copelandd baby. we'll its good friday today, its suppose to be a holy week, holy day, holy hour, holy minute and holy second. ohwells, theres really nothing holy about today, well it just feels like another holiday. My mom's being an ass, she thinks because it good friday everyone should stay at home and not go out. All i ask was whether i could go for a swim, and she used the most ridiculous excuse that its good friday. WHAT?! Anyway, I wanna catch a movieee! i wanna watch the lovely bones, alice in the wonderland, how to train a dragon and many many many moreeee i wish i could have a movie marathon, haha back to back! hahah theatre to theatre. SHIOK! thats going into my to do list. haha alright guess theres nothing much. hopefully today would be better day(:

I wanna see you smile again

2010-04-01T01:43:00.005+08:00

The unceasing, nerve wrecking sensation i've been tolerating has been really bringing my confidence level down. Everytime i hear things about A level or any upcoming test i get all tensed up and everything will go screw up. Im really afraid thats whats gonna happen when nearer to A levels. After the motivation talk by deb, i kinda got awaken and find the urgency to study immediately. But theres just so many invisible or visible obstacles thats pulling me away from reaching my goal. With A div coming closely, everyone have been working hard to get what we want, be it shooting, drills, footwork, positioning etc.Hopefully all of it will bring us something thats worth all these effort. Ohwells, i think it'll be more productive if i complain less and get to work more. haha okayy byee!
Im reallyh excited for my birthday party on the 10th(: haha friends invited please check your FB and reply whwether you can make it or not(: yay thanks! love yall

Not everything turns out the way you want it to be

2010-03-30T20:20:00.003+08:00

We should just stop saying im sorry after what had happened if the same mistake is gonna be made. Cos the constant apologies will gradually lose its sincerity. Maybe try being a little more sensitive next time.

Break a neck to keep your chin up

2010-03-29T00:38:00.005+08:00

He's killling me softly with his love.

Things arent quite like what we use to be

2010-03-28T03:30:00.005+08:00

Danceworks today was kinda worth waking for. I mean how often do you see me awake at like 10am in the morning.( if you didnt know, not very often) SIREN totally brought the house down, they were just too awesome. Anyway, left like immediately after siren performed and head down to church for catechism which i think i've not been for like 3 weeks? haha SINFUL, but i've got my reasons. One thing i've learnt from today's lesson was this rather inspirational quote from batman( the first one) " Its not who i am underneath, but what i do that defines who i am" I think this is what i really need to think about, getting to know myself and portraying who i truly am and not what others want me to be. This is one thing i would regret not doing after i die, not being able to discover the true me and day after day living in the shadow of others. Sometimes i really wished i could spend a day doing the things i like, instead of reduplicating the same boring routine everyday. But as yknow, days to A levels are tight and numbered, i think for now i just gotta stay tuned to whats more important well at least whats more realistic.
7 MORE MONTHS TO A LEVELS!

Tell him you wanna be his everything

2010-03-25T02:05:00.004+08:00

Hello!

Photobooth works

2010-03-22T23:36:00.004+08:00

Hi my name is charlotte and im human. HAHAHA okay im just being really random. For the pass 2 days? i have been testing out my photobooth hahah its really cool. haha Now i can camwhore even more SHIOK! i just love taking picture. Some people have passion for photography while i simply like taking pictures of myself hahahaha. HAHA or just basically self obsession. HAHA shit im revealing too much about myself now. (Now everyone's gonna think im a freak) But yeahh, just a little get to know me session. HAHHA well well, school was relatively tolerable except the fact that my head was made into a ball magnet during training, other than that i guess it should be alright. Tmr's free cone day peeps. Go knock yourselves out. hahaa

Hot tomatoes and 6 subway sandwiches WHAT?!

2010-03-21T19:57:00.007+08:00

(
Another weeks gone and here we are back to school again. Come to think of it, march break wasnt much of a break after all since i've been going back to school for trainings, well all of this is gonna be over after A div is done. So i guess thats good. Unlike other CCAs, training stops for us when competition is over, ZINGER! hahah which means no more late days and more time for K and "studies" and friends. But K's gonna start school soon so theres not much of a difference.i miss him alot! Haha so I kinda tried my best today to make every second of my last day of march hols enjoyable, but hanging round at 313 and orchard central is definitely the worse place to do so. Ohwells, after this 7 hours its gonna be just tutorials, lectures, cca and more cca. fml? Ate ALOT, almost puke but still satisfied. I need to replenish my energy for a long day tmr, training's definitely gonna be hell. FOR SURE. Im gonna continue watching my drama series. HEEEX, take care. BYE!
OH! HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHERYLXZ and MOM!<3 ( 20 mar and 17 mar)

It takes two hands to clap

2010-03-20T04:30:00.002+08:00

Im tired, i hate the way things turned out to be. I need some form of power to be able to see through people's intentions. I dont wanna be cast aside not knowing what others are doing behind my backs. i hate the feeling of people making use of me for their own benefits. Noone ever cares.

IT SHOW 2010

2010-03-14T23:00:00.003+08:00

I've got my new baby! hahha its a HP notebook. Well, im just glad i got a new lappy(: hahaha thanks dad! Well, getting a new laptop is just one part of it. Its actually for me when i get into U. hmm, which mean they're expecting me to get into U after JC. Well, i too have high hopes for myself but im really afraid i'll disappoint them with my upcoming CTs results. Ahh, why must they be common tests. Seriously! or else why must there be PTM for CTs. they're so gonna confiscate my baby after they see my report card. sigh! hahah as for now, woooo to my new laptop. haha

Come back to me

2010-03-11T22:01:00.004+08:00

So CTs are finally over, trying my best not to think abt it though. Anyhow, the holidays are here baby! i promise to study at least twice during the hols. (cross fingers) since i think im gonna do really badly for my CTs.

FML

2010-03-10T02:28:00.002+08:00

Ahhh fuck i screwed my econs paper! The most disappointing part is not that i didnt know how to do or like i didnt study for it,but instead i forgot to attach one of the answers. FUCKKK LUH! fmlfmlfml! Seriously, i think i should just kill myself now.

Tomorrow will be a better day

2010-03-08T18:16:00.004+08:00

A large tub of natural yogurt would do! 2 down and 3 more to go.

On the bus with zac and Rahim...(Not the exact words)
zac: Eh rahim! this is cooler than this right (Comparing btw _|_ with thumb and _|_ without the thumb)
Rahim: no, it looks nicer with nails ( re-emphasizing the fact that zac has NO nails)\
me: hahahahahahahhaa! (just laugh)

Its funnier than it seems. hahahaha

ok! back to econs (start shopping cos its good for the economy!)

He loves me, he loves me not.

2010-02-28T18:05:00.004+08:00

Its true we'll make a better day, just you and me!

Changed by you

2010-02-23T17:44:00.002+08:00

FUCKKKK need to study like NOW!

I miss my friends

2010-02-22T00:29:00.004+08:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA bye (goes to sleep)

boys are stupid, throw rocks at them

2010-02-19T22:08:00.003+08:00

Everything just seem more complex than it use to be. All i need to know now if all of this is worth cherishing.

Be here for me

2010-02-18T00:24:00.002+08:00

ASH WEDNESDAY! Its Ash stymest's day(: ahh hot stuff!

CNY SUCK! i lost 10 bucks arrghhh

2010-02-17T01:06:00.002+08:00

Im sick! i hate being sick. I've got sorethroat three times this month alr siaa. I think my time is up, my days are numbered. AHHHH, the world is coming to an end! okay, enough drama. GOODNIGHT!

I love you

2010-02-16T03:09:00.003+08:00

Hey honey, you're my valentine!

Back to where we started from

2010-02-10T00:53:00.002+08:00

Today damn joke! (good jokes, bad jokes)
Jokes bout jud's shoes, sarah's children (boobs), nut's age and relapse, my past embarrassing moments and justine's.... Justine herself. HAH
CNY is coming! MONEY IN! KAAACHINGGG!

I hate him

2010-01-28T19:46:00.001+08:00

Charlotte shouts AHHHHHHH!

Heart for hearts

2010-01-26T22:59:00.002+08:00

Seriously to me, life is full of obstacles waiting for you to break through. And when you finally manage to overcome all of it, you'll realise theres a whole new set waiting for you on the other side. Friendship, academic, family, every aspect of my life is not going very well. Its like issues bombarding me over and over again. I really need to break free from this vicious cycle thats making me lethargic day after day. I think i need to start going back to church more often, seeking for divine intervention that could help cleanse my sins and renew every aspect of my now dreadful situation.

Love all over again

2010-01-17T16:55:00.006+08:00

Im fucking tired from school. I go to school 6 times a week, weekdays 7a.m to 7p.m and weekends 9a.m to 5p.m. Whoever says he/she has no life, try spending this amount of time in school. FML!

Nobody nobody but you

2010-01-16T00:37:00.002+08:00

Only you can make me feel the way i felt tonight. Memories flash back when you held m hand again.

School for losers

2010-01-12T00:43:00.002+08:00

First day of school is never good but today just happened to be rather motivating or i must say pleasant. After all the goal setting and stuff, really made me wanna study hard and strive for what i wanna become after this year. I think im gonna start pulling my socks up and getting into the mood of finishing all my homework and staying awake in every lecture( I'll try luh). Unfortunately, the state of bliss just got pulled away by after school netball training. Spending 12hours in school isnt gonna make me smarter or closer to my goals. I hate trainings, it really does not help build up my body physically and does not help to keep me awake during lessons every morning.

P.S Whoever is excited for mass PE tmr should just go eat SHIT

Love lost is still love. It takes a different form, that’s all. You can’t see their smile or bring them food or tousle their hair or move them around a dance floor. But when those senses weaken, another heightens. Memory. Memory becomes your partner. You nurture it. You hold it. You dance with it. Life has to end. Love doesn’t. ~Mitch Albom